Humor

Aisle 21

BULLETIN FROM THE MID BRAIN
… A tsunami of doubt just crashed ashore along the coastal regions of the mind. I-don’t-know-what-the-fuck-I’m-doing has flooded regions as far as the amygdala, triggering mild panic. Cortisol surges have resulted in tightening of the muscles of the upper back, shoulders, arms, and the jaw. The heart has begun to palpate and the breath is quickening.

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FROM THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX
… Aid workers are being dispatched to reassure all those affected that the entire experience is purely imagination. A barrage of thought no more substantial than the breath of a small omnivorous mammal. We regret any distress caused by this false alarm and wish to assure everyone that all is fine — that, in fact, it is always fine. Since, were it not so, we would suffer repeated trauma, illness, and possibly death. According to a certain Siddhartha Gautama — an expert in these matters — it is all unreal, everything is ultimately empty of essence, impermanent, and not self. Please, carry on as you were. May your calm return, and may all beings come to an end of suffering…

What’s that!? Oh! Yes… Clean up in aisle 21, please. Someone has upchucked their calamari alfredo in aisle 21. Mop and bucket will be necessary. Thank you.